I want to write
about a recent memory and my story of how I came to believe in spirituality. I
do not debate or argue with others on their beliefs because we each have our
own. During my early 20’s I was raising my son whom was 4-8 years old. I have
always been Catholic but this does not mean that I agree with everything in the
church. Now, this is where I will probably lose some folks, but remember to
each is their own. I had stopped going to church so much but would still go on
occasion, but I was in a dilemma as to how to guide my son if I didn’t believe
some of the things that were being taught. So instead I chose to instill an
example to him of being kind and spiritual. It was also then that I began to
study Buddhism. I taught my son the importance to being kind to all sentient
beings and the universe as a whole. He would grasp this more than I would
realize as later some of the things he would say to me would just stop me in my
tracks. However, I knew that it was not truly I, but God that was responsible
for his sweet soul. He told me once that he chose me to be his mother and it
was I that he looked up to the most.
Those words would
stay with me and when things would get tough I would reflect on those words and
know and have faith that something much greater was at work here. Little did I realize
that his time would be short on this earth as he had other work to do in the
next life. So after his death it propelled me into the world of wanting answers
and meaning. After all of my running what I found was the answers were in my
inner emotional home. I feel that inside of us we all want peace and joy, but
somewhere along the way we get distracted by such things as the monetary world
and power.
His teenage years were amazing and at 15 he
told me that he wanted to become part of the Catholic Church and begin catechism.
His words exactly were, “mom our whole family is Catholic and I feel that is
what I am supposed to do as well”. I was so moved that he came to this decision
on his own without me forcing my beliefs down his throat as I shudder when I
see parents doing this. You know the Amish do this and I look up to the Amish
way of life as I have several friends in that community. I have spent hours
speaking to them of their beliefs and philosophy and I am always amazed at
their parenting. At 18 they allow their children to decide whether they want
the Amish way or the English. They do not pressure them nor do they disown them
but they allow them to be individuals. I only wish more parents were like this.
So for those of you that may be struggling with teens, have faith and patience
that they will find “their” way not yours.
The best gift to give to our children is the
gift of letting them think for themselves. At some point we must realize that
we are powerless over our children and they are not “ours” to control but only
arrows in which that we cast out into this universe. Bottom line take extra
caution as to not pressure them but just love them no matter whom they choose
to become. Luckily we live in a society of choices and many paths to
enlightenment. We as parents will have a much better relationship with our
children if we practice more acceptance and less of a need to control. Seek
happiness today and always.
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