Connections to Others

At some point in our lives at least for me, we come in contact with someone that has a similar story and the same fears about life. It is then we suddenly do not feel so alone. I can't imagine going through life without having connections with others. This is what it is all about. If we want to survive this old world we must open ourselves up and let others know us. Yes it is a risk and yes we will get hurt, but all of this is worth it when you connect even if it is just one person from time to time. I have to say that in the last year I have truly been blessed with re-connections. It has almost all been due to Facebook. I live in the country and have felt so isolated at times that I became complacent and depressed. Of course as most of you know Mr. Budlight became my best friend but what he took was my life. I used this relationship with alcohol to anesthetize the pain of losing my son, and fill the whole of loneliness. Once I finally realized to honor my true self I feel more at peace. I love my solitude and have to have a large amount of it so I can be at my best and feel well, but I also need connections. Over many years I have come to the awareness of those that are good for me and those that are not. I need to feel calm and protect my nervous system from over stimulus… I love to laugh but I stay away from ranting and raving. I have written of this before but I want to elaborate on more of what I mean by this. I know we all have moments of anger and anger can be a healthy motivator. However, if we find ourselves snapping over simple things then something is out of balance in our lives. We must address this for so many reasons. I use to walk around this farm and in my life a great deal of the time with this walk of anger. I noticed it one day when I was walking to my horse barn. I stopped and paid attention to my entire body. My shoulders were tense, my step was quick and hard and my breathing was shallow. I had to look at what was really going on. I was pissed but at what? In a general sense I was mad at life. I was not taking care of myself the way I should. No I was not drinking, but I was not speaking up for my needs. Once again our primary needs are not the only needs that we have, but we each have different needs. For example, my needs have changed greatly due to the loss of my son. I have to really be careful now to not over commit myself and allow time for myself for mindful and working meditation. Some will ask what the heck is that.  Both are forms of meditation but we are doing something that is calming such as gardening, reading, and painting or even for me at times it is driving my tractor and bush hogging. I spend time with my animals every day and this rejuvenates me so I can be at my best when I do connect with others. I am more fully present when I am with others and my heart is open to give and receive love. I have to say I am so thankful that I am in the place that I am now. I still have struggles, I still miss my son and still mess up pretty much on a daily basis but I apologize immediately with sincerity and humility. Being mindful, forces us to slow down and really live day to day instead of flying through the day not even realizing what we have missed or who we may have hurt on a careening journey of just speeding through the day. So with this I will leave you…….Slow down and say or do something kind for someone today and then pay attention how you feel inside after doing this. Share this experience with someone that is close to you and really “be” in the moment. For all we have are moments and then tomorrow those will be gone and if we are lucky we will get a chance to do it again….light to all have a good weekend.

facebook.com